Classic Video Game Fight Club, Round 8

Peeps, we are in the Final Four of our tournament

your contestants are

Mega Man VS Samus
Link VS Contra

my picks

Mega Man and Samus is the battle one could only dream of. Arm cannon vs arm cannon and multiple different abilities. I have to give Mega Man the slight advantage here. He has way more of a selection of weapons (54 to be exact) as well as the Rush adapters, and that annoying little bird Beat who is like a homing missile to enemies. Samus might have more powerful weapons, but she is no match for the variety of attacks Mega Man has. He uses a combination of charging up his Mega Buster as well as a few charged Heat Man shots to finish her off. He uses Beat as a distraction to get in her face when she is trying to fire.

Link and Contra seems like it is lopsided. On one hand, Contra guys have their guns to kill from a distance. However, Link decides he isn't fucking around anymore. He takes cover under his shield and uses his full heart power to shoot swords at the Contra guys. He then calls out some of his favorite weaponry, the Bombchu (which you remember could be guided for brief moments on the 64 games). He finds a safe spot and uses his homing style bombs to take out the alien hunters.

Mega Man vs Samus; This battle goes back an fourth due to both having many options. BUT, the tide turns when Samus strips down to her 16-bit naked body (sans the arm cannon) and Mega Man freezes due to never... EVER seeing a woman like that. It's so shocking to MM that he prematurely turns into Orgasman and falls to the floor. Samus Wins!

Link vs Contra; this one lasts a while as "Red" is able to dodge most of Links attack, and Link uses his shield against "Red" because "Red" made the mistake of having the "fire" gun. Well "Blue" gets pissed and reconnects his controller... dies many times taking away "Red" lives. Suddenly Link gets in a lucky shot and while "Blue" is also dead... "Red" finds out that "Blue" took all of his lives and they are out of continues... Game Over. Link gets the victory.

Orgasman? Why the fuck didnt I read this BEFORE Halloween! I'd have had the PERFECT costume damnit!